1) Pandas do not know martial arts, nor can they learn them.
2) If you are going to pick 5 animals to be the top fighters in China, you are not going to pick a mantis, a snake, or a crane. I'll give you the tiger and the monkey, but in a real fight, the mantis and snake would get stepped on immediately, and one kick would snap the crane's legs.
3) The evil tiger would have mauled the panda.
4) A panda would never work in a noodle restaurant. I mean, come on, are you going to give it a full body fur net?
5) How exactly does a turtle disappear into a cloud of peach tree leaves? I'm calling bullshit on this one.
6) A chinchilla would not raise a tiger from birth. He would be eaten.
7) A goose/duck would not raise a panda. He, too, would be eaten.
8) Animals do not talk.
9) If said animals did talk, an evil tiger orphan raised by a chinchilla in China would not speak with a British accent.
10) The woo-shoo finger hold does not actually set off a nuclear explosion by flexing the pinky finger. And if it did, the panda would have been fried along with the tiger.
Note: This is going to be a new column series in which I call bullshit on all of the stuff Dreamworks has been trying to force down our throats. They have skated by with their fake stories for far too long. At the very least, I would like to see them add a disclaimer to the beginning of every movie, as well as to every preview, so that I do not go to the movies only to be blindsided by their lies.
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