I would like to take this opportunity to make my reader(s) aware of an organization I recently joined which is sure to provide a large amount of fodder for this blog. In the interest of providing some anonymity to other participants in the club, I will refer to it henceforth as Cookedbreadmasters.What is Cookedbreadmasters, you ask? In short, it is a public speaking club for those among us who find it difficult to talk in front of large groups. Or small groups. Or to their pets.
I have attended one meeting, and from what I can tell, the ideal candidate is someone with any or all of the following:
1) a heavy accent
2) a stuttering problem
3) an issue with making eye contact
4) a lisp
5) a propensity to wet himself or herself when conversing with others.
As it just so happens, I possess none of the above, and therefore imagine myself as the Poster Child of a successful graduate of the program. However, in all fairness to the organization, I think it's a tremendous (and safe) opportunity for those people with the above problems to conquer their fears. To prove this, and in the hopes of obtaining an official Cookedbreadmasters tie, I have taken it upon myself to recruit others to this program. Recruiting will take place each night this week between the hours of 12 and 4am on the Chicago public transportation system. If you are interested in joining, please feel free to show up at any time, and look for the guy with dry pants who looks you in the eye and crisply says "Hello" when you board the train.
